A Thought: On Grief and the Subtle Resilience of the Soul

It's been my experience, and I can only speak for my own, extensive though it may be in this particular arena, that time does change things, just in a more subtle way, and so slowly that we barely notice it happening, as it does.

In the beginning, and sometimes for a good bit after, the pain is acute, every memory seeming to cut us open anew. As time passes, though, and life moves on, around and, eventually, through us, the wounds close up some as the reminders of what was lost become less frequent and give us the space needed to start the healing process. Rather than a sharp, breathless jab, it becomes a dull ache that can certainly be just as profound, but has turned into something familiar.

Finally, even that fades and what's left is less an ache than an occasional sore spot, as the mind and soul do what they do and the bad things slip away, the last days, the things undone, words unspoken, leaving more room for the good, all the years prior, the things done and those that were said that, when recalled, will bring a smile, rather than tears, if a sad one.

That, to me, is grief. Read more!

A Thought: On the End of Violence

There is a phrase, "ending in violence," which I've never really understood. Regardless of the nature of the conflict, the level of the violence, it is never an ending, but rather the almost inevitable catalyst for more violence.

To stop violence, we must cease violence. I will never advocate standing down in the face of true injustice, but hands put to good use, set to building, rather than destroying, are a much more powerful force, and the only one capable of creating true change. Read more!

A Thought: On Love and Faith

Recently, I read an article regarding whether a statement the current Pope made regarding education of a new generation of children in the faith, which included, as an anecdotal example, a story about a little girl whose mother was in a lesbian relationship, should be interpreted to mean he was making a declaration about gay parents.

The author of the article in The National Catholic Register, which chose to focus more heavily on two words rather than the overarching theme of the three hour conference, stated, as his interpretation, that the Pope's underlying meaning was:

"When parents or guardians are living in a situation that publicly contradicts Christian teaching, it creates a very difficult problem of how to communicate the fullness of Christian truth to them without putting them in a situation where they must choose between their parents and the Faith and end up turning against the Faith."

It is my belief, both as a Christian and a reasoned person, that if one's natural inclination prior to socialization is to choose one's parents, who have loved unconditionally and thereby taught one to do so, over an interpretation of any faith which says that love must not be for everyone, then there is something to be said about which love is more true. Read more!

A Thought: On Protecting American Rights

The moment you say that any right given to some Americans should not be given to all of them, regardless of reasons why not, you are no longer allowed to complain when someone wishes to remove yours.

True Americans fight for all people, not just those with whom they agree. To use one's guaranteed rights to voice one's thoughts, to back them up with strength of arms or power of assembly, to try and prevent others from obtaining equal rights is antithetical to all upon which this country was founded, in practice as well as in principle, and invalidates the very reasons we were given them in the first place, to ensure Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness for ALL free people of this great nation. Read more!

A Thought: On the Power of Kindness

There is a rare and perfect beauty in a kind act, regardless of the size or scope, that reaches across the gap inevitable between any two souls that, while it may well be uncrossable, can, in that moment, be made meaningless. Read more!

A Thought: On the Maturation of Diversity

In the beginning, when I was too young to know any better, I found myself seeking the outliers, the people who ended up, more often than not without having chosen to be so, on the fringes. It seemed fitting, as that's where I always seemed to end up, anyway.

As I got older, though, I realized that restricting myself to just those sorts was cutting out a lot of folks that, even if they seemed a bit more homogenous outside, all had stories of their own, and these stories were just as interesting and important as those who seemed more outwardly distinct.

These days, I find myself wanting to sit and talk with just about anyone, to figure out who and why they are and where they've been. I'm even looking to make a career of it. Because, in the end, people are just plain fascinating, achingly beautiful, heartbreakingly flawed (and we all are), but endlessly varied and unique. Read more!

New Year's Day 2014

New Year's Day is not, typically, an easy one for me, as it marks the anniversary of the passing out of my life one of those people who was, and will always be, an indelible part of me.

As the years have gone by, the pain became an ache and, eventually, the ache a simple sadness not for the loss of what was, but for what could have been.

Still...as that pain has faded, shifted, and because of the way I've chosen to carry the load, the joy and peace brought by the memories of the years I did have serves as a exceptional balm to any lingering melancholy and, as I build this new life in this new year, I will carry with me that laugh, that cocky smile and the complete and unconditional faith he always saw in me, even, especially, when I couldn't see it in myself.

What's more, this year, for the first time since that night that he, and some part of me, died in the fog, I spent it surrounded by friends who are becoming family, laughter and the kind of love and happiness that made it all okay. Thank you, to all of you who were there, even those who didn't know, and to those who couldn't be, but let me know I was in your thoughts, regardless. You were amazing. Read more!