A Thought: On Love and Faith

Recently, I read an article regarding whether a statement the current Pope made regarding education of a new generation of children in the faith, which included, as an anecdotal example, a story about a little girl whose mother was in a lesbian relationship, should be interpreted to mean he was making a declaration about gay parents.

The author of the article in The National Catholic Register, which chose to focus more heavily on two words rather than the overarching theme of the three hour conference, stated, as his interpretation, that the Pope's underlying meaning was:

"When parents or guardians are living in a situation that publicly contradicts Christian teaching, it creates a very difficult problem of how to communicate the fullness of Christian truth to them without putting them in a situation where they must choose between their parents and the Faith and end up turning against the Faith."

It is my belief, both as a Christian and a reasoned person, that if one's natural inclination prior to socialization is to choose one's parents, who have loved unconditionally and thereby taught one to do so, over an interpretation of any faith which says that love must not be for everyone, then there is something to be said about which love is more true. Read more!

A Thought: On Protecting American Rights

The moment you say that any right given to some Americans should not be given to all of them, regardless of reasons why not, you are no longer allowed to complain when someone wishes to remove yours.

True Americans fight for all people, not just those with whom they agree. To use one's guaranteed rights to voice one's thoughts, to back them up with strength of arms or power of assembly, to try and prevent others from obtaining equal rights is antithetical to all upon which this country was founded, in practice as well as in principle, and invalidates the very reasons we were given them in the first place, to ensure Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness for ALL free people of this great nation. Read more!

A Thought: On the Power of Kindness

There is a rare and perfect beauty in a kind act, regardless of the size or scope, that reaches across the gap inevitable between any two souls that, while it may well be uncrossable, can, in that moment, be made meaningless. Read more!

A Thought: On the Maturation of Diversity

In the beginning, when I was too young to know any better, I found myself seeking the outliers, the people who ended up, more often than not without having chosen to be so, on the fringes. It seemed fitting, as that's where I always seemed to end up, anyway.

As I got older, though, I realized that restricting myself to just those sorts was cutting out a lot of folks that, even if they seemed a bit more homogenous outside, all had stories of their own, and these stories were just as interesting and important as those who seemed more outwardly distinct.

These days, I find myself wanting to sit and talk with just about anyone, to figure out who and why they are and where they've been. I'm even looking to make a career of it. Because, in the end, people are just plain fascinating, achingly beautiful, heartbreakingly flawed (and we all are), but endlessly varied and unique. Read more!

New Year's Day 2014

New Year's Day is not, typically, an easy one for me, as it marks the anniversary of the passing out of my life one of those people who was, and will always be, an indelible part of me.

As the years have gone by, the pain became an ache and, eventually, the ache a simple sadness not for the loss of what was, but for what could have been.

Still...as that pain has faded, shifted, and because of the way I've chosen to carry the load, the joy and peace brought by the memories of the years I did have serves as a exceptional balm to any lingering melancholy and, as I build this new life in this new year, I will carry with me that laugh, that cocky smile and the complete and unconditional faith he always saw in me, even, especially, when I couldn't see it in myself.

What's more, this year, for the first time since that night that he, and some part of me, died in the fog, I spent it surrounded by friends who are becoming family, laughter and the kind of love and happiness that made it all okay. Thank you, to all of you who were there, even those who didn't know, and to those who couldn't be, but let me know I was in your thoughts, regardless. You were amazing. Read more!

A Thought: On the Other Shoe

Rather than being scared of getting hit by the other shoe when it drops, how's about we try to catch it and think, hey, free shoes? Read more!

A Thought: On Defining Memories

If we make an effort to define memories as much as they define us, the most one need ever be is wistful for what once was, rather than sad for what couldn't be. Read more!

Hope for the Holidays

The holidays are my favorite time of year, from right around this week until a bit after New Year's. There's something about the world during all of this that feels...different. I understand why so many cultures have celebrated it; not just because it was a turning point, when the weather began to shift back towards warmth, but because it was full of something deeper, a time for thought, introspection and possibility.

People just seem happier, even if they aren't, really, and the world becomes something magical, with the lights, the clarity of cold air and the sounds and smells, the bells and woodsmoke, particular to the season.

I love it all, truly, but sometimes...it isn't easy. There are ghosts for me. I mean, they're there, all year, but the ones that haunt the holidays are a little stronger, more prevalent. I'll be alone for Christmas this year, for the first time in a very long time. Jennifer's going to Florida for the week and Katie, like everyone else, will be spending the day with her family. Mine will be over here in the early morning, but likely gone by noon. I'm not sure how to feel about all that yet.

My mom met my stepdad when I was 18. I was already living on my own in the old trailer, had been since I was a senior in high school and could walk up the steps to get inside again. My mom was living with my grandfather, who needed 24-hour care we couldn't afford to give him otherwise. She'd take care of him during the day and, more often than not, I'd go and take care of him overnight, so she could rest. But that's none of it the point.

My stepfamily moved in with the two of them the summer of my 18th year, just before I turned 19. I volunteered to stay with my grandfather, rather than going to my family's Christmas, back when I still had enough alive to do the big gathering. That was the last year, though we didn't know it then, obviously. He and I watched TV together and the little ones, my younger soon-to-be step-siblings, got to enjoy a real family Christmas the way we'd always done it, so it was good.

A week later, very early New Year's Day, Ian killed himself. Three months after that, my grandfather passed. It was hard, then, being alone in the world, truly alone, for the first time. My mom sought solace with my stepfather, which was only fair, then they got married and that year they went to his family's Christmas and forgot to invite me. There was no malice or anything. In all her own pain, she forgot and he'd assumed she had asked. It was just something that slipped through the cracks, is all.

My best friend called to see how my day had been, sometime after ten Christmas night. I told her about all of it. She asked if I'd eaten and I told her I hadn't, as I was out of food again (there were a couple of years when I was only eating every few days). We ended up sitting in the parking lot of Albertson's after I'd broken into a local farmer's market and taken some fruit, because nothing else was open, leaving money and a note on the counter. She fell asleep and I cried listening to her new Lifehouse CD.

A week later, very early New Year's Day, I stood at my door and watched snow fall in Louisiana for the first time in as long as I could remember.

It taught me something that I carry to this day, one of those things that I keep wrapped safe and tight in my heart. There is hope. Always hope. And if you remember that, the ghosts can become good company, visitors with whom to share that dark, contemplative time of year, I suppose. It can, at the very least, turn the memories from a sharp sense of loss to something softer, something that, even if touched by melancholy, can still be beautiful, as a sad smile is still, at its heart, a smile.

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A Thought: On Supply and Demand

If you demand nothing from people, you will often find you get everything. Read more!

A Thought: On the Unfairness of Congressional Exemption

I would happily support Congressional action to remove the "unfair and hypocritical" exemption from Obamacare granted to Congress and The White House were it to also remove all the other, larger exemptions Congress has given themselves over the years and knock them down to working for the unlivable federal minimum wage.
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A Thought: On the Failure of Civics Teachers

Every time something like the government shutdown incites such vehement, polarizing, vitriolic fervor in the media and, by extension, here on the internet, I am reminded that so many civics teachers, whether out of simple ignorance or cynical personal bias, failed to do the one job with which they were entrusted; educating Americans on the basic, fundamental ways in which our government functions. Read more!

A Thought: On Attacking the Solution

To acknowledge a problem and attack those who offer a solution without proffering your own is foolish. Read more!

Conversations: An Unhealthy Preoccupation With Cake

Friend: Ever think, clearly and rationally, that you shouldn't have cake, so you decide not to have cake, and then all you can think about is how badly you want cake?

 Me: Nope. I can see no clear, rational line of thinking that would lead to not choosing to have cake.

 

F: Well in this instance the cake is a metaphor.

 

M: For what?

F: Sex.

M: I knew that.

F: You just wanted me to say it?

 

M: I did.

F: Mean.

M: I like to think I'm actually straight-out evil, but sure. I'm teaching you to use metaphors.

F: I always use metaphors.

 

M: And that's fine, but you shouldn't use ones that don't make sense. Like those that assume anyone 

would ever not choose cake.

 

F: I can't think of anything else that works.

 

M: Because cake is the only thing on par with sex. I see your problem.

F: I'm actually fairly sure that you do, yes.

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You know you're in grad school...

When you start to move into another room of your house and think, "Wait, I need to be reading something," than chuckle with relief because you know there's at least a few books in every room to choose from, and you've got assigned reading in those, too. Read more!

A Thought: On the Burden and Blessing of Perception

It's the unfortunate burden, and consummate blessing, of those able to see evil in the world that they will often find themselves in a place to do good. Read more!