An Alternative to Gun Control...

I've decided that, as gun control is such a difficult issue, with so many valid facets on both sides, that the answer is simple.  We ban guns, melt them all down, and go back to the days of good, old-fashioned melee weapons.  We could start a guns for swords program.  It works out all the way around, really. 

Those who value weaponry for personal defense would have more than enough options, especially if they're of the type who believe that the intimidation factor alone is worth it.  I see a guy walking around with a gun tucked into the back of his pants, I think he's a douche gangsta' wanna-be.  I see a guy walking down the street with a battle axe strapped to his back, I guarantee you I'm not going to fuck with him.  It's just that simple.  Plus, there's the added bonus of being able to really look someone in the eye when you kill them that you just can't get with a long-range weapon.  It's the little things in life.

On the other end of the spectrum, for those who worry about the dangers of handguns, which statistics have more than backed up, this would remove all but the most idiotic of home accidents and, really, let's be honest, if your kid accidentally decapitates himself with your brand new bastard sword, it's probably better, from a societal standpoint, that he or she was removed from the gene pool early on.  Second, because the only way to kill someone with a melee weapon is close combat, you'd never hear about little Janey walking home from school and getting caught by a stray bullet.  So there's that.

Finally, and I think we can all get behind this one, as both sides claim to be right on their approaches regularly, it would make most crimes which currently use guns all but impossible.  Bank robbery at sword point?  Probably not.  And yes, I know, it's happened, but that's because banks weren't built to work with someone only have a few feet.  If a teller's being held up by someone with a gun, short of bulletproof glass, you got nothing.  But if the teller's being held up with, say, a broadsword, a couple of steps back and a bit of patience until the police get there and all's well.  The field of personal security would also be much easier, for much the same reason.

So, in this election season, when important issues are on your mind, I urge you to seriously think about a reasonable, practical alternative to gun control which, I believe, works for everyone involved.